August. September. October. November.

Four months.

The best ever.

 Four months since I put up anything in this space. I should’ve.  Four months later, on a cold winter evening which happens to be today I realised why.  The blog was for me. Umm...it is for me. It was originally written and is still being written with only one reader in mind. And that reader very coincidentally happens to be me. Selfish? Yes. But I don’t think you are really that interested so I guess it’s okay.

I write what I like to read. Yes, now you can definitely ask me why I like to read this  kind of nonsensical bunch of crap. And I will say, ”Hey..It’s my writing. If I don’t read, who will?”, in the same tone, manner in which R.Green would say ,“Heyyy..Leave the poor kitty alone..kitty kitty”.

Ugh.

Shoving hypothetical reactions aside, a second was all I took me to reason the aforementioned occurrence (though it did take like 120 days for me to start doing the thinking). The need for me to write for me(same me) to read would arise from the compelling need to be listened to. So I wrote, which was like talking. And then I read which was not just like reading but also reading between the lines. The latter I had/have to do because of generous usage of metaphors, allusions, puns and the like which aid in censoring and also impart a good reading experience (i.e. ONLY for me). Then everything changed. Everything.

I bought a mirror that night. Uh..I didn’t buy the mirror, the mirror bought me. No. Uh. I just got the mirror. Somehow. This mirror is special and not just because it makes me look good, from every angle and inside-out(err..I dunno what it’s supposed to mean but I like the sound of it). It’s a walkie-talkie kind of a mirror. It can talk and walk(I think). It listens to everything I say and makes it sound good. It says everything I want to hear without making it sound bad. Sounds nice, doesn’t it? Obviously it will…Why? Because, it IS nice. But my mirror isn’t ugly and greenish-blue like the one from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. It’s pretty and ‘sweet’ and heavy. And I like it.

I like the way I look in my mirror. I like the way I sound in it. Do I like the mirror only for the way it makes me feel? I still haven’t figured that out yet. But when I think of the answer as a ‘yes’, I feel terribly guilty and selfish. I really hope it’s a ‘no’. There has to be something else..But that something else doesn’t have a proper form as yet (here I'm assuming it exists)for me to recognize..so till then I’ll just keep thinking of BOTH possibilities.

To sum it all up, I love my mirror.

Sounds crazy and scarily imaginative? Oooooooooh. I like the sound of it. And also, I like the perplexed + digusted + ‘OMG she-needs-help’ expression on your face. It’s okay to feel what you are feeling now. It’s perfectly okay. **evil fake smile (imitates Agent Kim’s [ Reference: Prison Break]).

I think you need a mirror too. Everybody needs one. Hey, don’t ask me where I got it… I don’t really know. I think I found it in school..I’m not sure.

So..you want a mirror? Umm…I’d say look around. When you see the reflection of yourself which you like, you’ll know you found one.

Today’s moody confession: I hate the way I handle the mirror sometimes. So roughly, so clumsily, so flippantly. I take it for granted. Drop, abuse, scratch, leave it out in the rain, scribble on it randomly. It doesn’t complain. It just doesn’t. I feel bad. Then I apologise. Then it’s okay. Everybody is happy. Then I do it again. I keep cycling the vicious cycle.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

And yes, I love winter!!!

And my baggy sweaters, sweatshirts!!!

And Chotu!!!

And me!!!

And my enflamed notebooks!!!

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

I wonder what crap fills that doll. [PLAGIARISED; Source: His Highness]

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

Why don’t you just let me fall?

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

When you walked, did I crawl?

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

I want a knife that kills them all. [PLAGIARISED; Source: His Highness]

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

You always make me feel so small

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

Couldn’t I have been a lil more tall?

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

Why do I have to be so prawl?

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

Thank you for this, that and all

**Mirror, mirror on the wall

I love my mirror and well, that’s all!