I learnt.
I learnt what I think I learnt today.
I don't quite know if I should've learnt it but I believe that it'll help me do what I should be doing.

Excerpt from an August post:

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I AM A ROCK

- Simon and Garfunkel

A winters day
In a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

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Contrary to what I had expressed in August, maybe I should be a Rock.

**reads lyrics.

Umm.. Maybe I'll go with being a Pumice Stone instead.

Yeah yeah!

Pumice stone!

Today’s moody confession:

1.    1.A winter's day
In a deep and dark December
I am alone
Gazing from my window
To the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow

It’s December and I am shivering in its noon. And yes it is notably ‘deep’ but what it isn’t is ‘dark’. It’s bright as light could be and as hued and as an old pond. It’s blue, green, dirty white and brown.

I am NOT alone. I have the best company one could ever have. I am grateful for it.

And uh, no snow here. Pity pity.

2.    2.I've built walls
A fortress deep and mighty
That no one can penetrate
I have no need of friendship
Friendship causes pain
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain
I am a rock, I am an island

I can see the walls growing like a beanstalk. I want to axe it’s tender stalk now, before it hardens but I’m feeling too slothful and timid.

I need friendship. I need more than I think I need it.

It’s laughter and loving I need. And the importance of their need I can more than fathom. It’s laughter and loving I’ve been bountifully been showered with. More than I suppose I deserve. And I love you for that.

3.     3.Don't talk of love
Well, I've heard the word before
It's sleeping in my memory
I won't disturb the slumber
Of feelings that have died
If I never loved I never would have cried
I am a rock, I am an island
I am a rock, I am an island

Talk of love. I want to hear the word more than I’ve ever heard it before. It needn’t be in my memory. It’s as fresh as the radiant green grass bathed in the dew.

The tears are delicious. You don’t forgo the chance to dig into hot spicy chat, because it scalds your tongue and gets the water streaming down your headlights, do you?

4.    4.I have my books
And my poetry to protect me
I am shielded in my armor
Hiding in my room
Safe within my womb
I touch no one and no one touches me
I am a rock, I am an island

Yes, books distract. Poetry engages. Newspaper distracts, engages and also informs. Imagination liberates.

Using ‘armour’ as a noun would be anachronistic. As a metaphor, it would allude to my Gunman. The Armour protects. I love my Armour. It’s big and shiny and distracts plenty.

I say I’m intangible. Remember to respect that but more importantly, REMEMBER that.

5.   5. And a rock feels no pain
And an island never cries

A rock feels the pain. It tries to pretend like it doesn’t. It uses its rough and tough appearance as a guise. But it’s dumb. It doesn’t know that the cracks are appreciably noticeable.

An island cries. It weeps profusely but silently in isolation. The water around it is testimony.